David Tennant as Walt in Camping – Episode 5.1


– I believe a university in New Jersey that
I could give two shits about. – No, last night, I dreamed that I was, like,
falling through- – It’s not uncommon. – It was almost… I think dreams go very deep. – Hi. Hello. – That’s what it was. – Ooh-ooh-ooh. Ooh-ooh-ooh. Am I Casper the Friendly Ghost or something,
with my invisible ghost itinerary? – Hey, honey, where have you been?
You have, like, a sheen about you. – Oh, where have I been? Um, I’ve just returned from a rage walk. – Oh, that reminds me. I need some exercise. – Oh. – Oh, like tai chi, for example. The tai chi that was maybe on your itinerary? – Uh, that sounds fun. Should we do that later? – Uh, yuck, no. Let’s do that Japanese YouTube tutorial on
ice cream dancing, right? You know what I’m talking about? It’s amazing.
– I love Japanese videos! – What is that?
– It’s amazing. It’s amazing. – Have you seen the Japanese videos?
– No. Ice cream? – It’s the outfits I love…
– No, It will. I got one bar. – Listen up! I don’t care about your ice cream dancing
or about any of your exercise regimen, to be honest. I am sorry to be hostile, NJ. It’s not about you, but I feel the need to
say that it’s become very clear to me that nobody cares to follow the ideal schedule
I so carefully constructed, including you, which is fine. But it makes me need to tell you that you
can fuck right off and find your own fun. – Whoa, Katty. – Excuse my French. Ah! I am just still cranked out of my mind from
the pill that Jandice gave me. – OK, I’m sorry about that. But I tend to think that any new experience
is worthwhile, no matter what it is, you know? – That’s so true. – So real. – So if you are looking at your itinerary,
doubtful, then I should let you know that the omelet jam has been canceled. – No. – Yes, canceled. – Wait, there’s no jam? I just made fresh toast. – No, there is jam, you dumb fuck. It’s on the table in front of you. There is no omelet jam. – Oh, yeah. It’s right there. – However, I should let you know that some
sort of animal has gotten into the bulk of our food, including the cheese, which is full
of some kind of odd little bite marks. So you can find your own breakfast. Walter, Carleen, please be dressed in
seven minutes! We need to replenish our supplies. As for the rest of you, you can all
fuck right off. Enjoy the scope of your morning. – It’s a new- – OK, gotta go. Now, guys, when I get to the supermarket,
I’m gonna- – Walter! – Yep. – Got it? – Everyone probably expects me to give you a
list of items, but honestly, I don’t care. I carefully grocery shopped, and an animal
ate those shoppings. And nobody would have appreciated my Meyer
lemon chicken and couscous anyway, so just buy whatever you like. – But didn’t you have a vision for tonight’s
dinner? – Whatever I pick is gonna be hotly contested. Let’s skip it. – I’ll just buy a bunch of ground chuck and
make my patented jumbo sliders then. – I guess I’ll make my famous rolls. – Since when are your rolls famous, Carleen? I’ve never even heard you say the word “roll”
until just now. You know, if you’re gonna do that, though,
could you also do other carbs as well, like new potatoes, sweet potatoes, potato chips? What is wrong with me? Why do I have to make it so easy for everyone? – I’ll get dessert, I guess. – Does anyone have a slice of paper? – Yes. I have a Moleskine in the glove compartment. I find it a great place to jot down idle thoughts
in traffic. – Nobody needs to hear your poetry, Walt. Mother’s Day is more than enough. You know what, Carleen? Why don’t you do dessert? Carbs is kind of a big job. – I thought you liked my poems. Whoa, you’re really going for blood today,
Katty. – Wait, so was I demoted? – Well, you weren’t promoted. Let’s put it that way. Come on, guys, let’s get this moving. – You think that bar is walking distance
from here? – I have an idea. Maybe we can all do a quick visualization
exercise in which we successfully picture retrieving our items.

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