Kyle’s Very Hyper Holiday


>>AND I WANT A BICYCLE AND I ASK YOU EVERY
YEAR, BUT YOU STILL HAVEN’T GOTTEN ME MY DRAGON!
[BELLY LAUGHTER]>>WELL WE’LL PUT THAT ON THE LIST THIS YEAR.
>>THANK GOODNESS. AND–>>OKAY, TIME TO GO.
>>WHAT? NO, I STILL WANT MORE PRESENTS!
LIKE A NERF GUN OR THAT DRAGON! DON’T FORGET!
>>MERRY CHRISTMAS.>>MERRY CHRISTMAS!
>>OH MAN! THE KIDS GET WEIRDER EVERY YEAR.
>>AND TALLER. OKAY, WHO’S NEXT?
>>IT’S ME! IT’S MY TURN.
I’M NEXT! IT’S ME.
>>GOODNESS HI.>>ALL RIGHT.
OKAY.>>I’VE BEEN HOLDING THESE SKITTLES IN MY
HANDS SINCE I WOKE UP AT FIVE THIS MORNING.
>>OKAY, NO. KYLE!
KYLE! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU NOT TO
LICK YOUR HANDS IN PUBLIC?
>>TASTE THE RAINBOW!>>OKAY.
OKAY, WHAT’S YOUR NAME LITTLE GUY?>>THIS IS MY HYPERACTIVE SON KYLE.
>>OH! KYLE, DON’T EAT THAT!
>>OH, IT’S OKAY. HE ONCE ATE HIS FORK AT DINNER.
PRONGS FIRST, JUST BREAK DOWN.>>THE SNOW TASTES LIKE SALT AND HAMSTERS.
>>OKAY. LET’S GO AHEAD AND MEET MR. SANTA.
>>SANTA! OH, IS IT REALLY YOU THIS TIME?
WHERE ARE YOUR REINDEER? ARE THEY OVER HERE?
I DON’T SEE ANY DEER SCAT. I BET THEY’RE BACK AT THE NORTH POLE HUH?
IS THIS YOUR CHRISTMAS TREE? OH!
>>NO! KYLE!
KYLE! KYLE!
KYLE, HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU NOT TO
DIVE INTO THE SHRUBBERY?>>UH, YOUR PRESENTS ARE EMPTY.
IS YOUR BEARD REAL?>>NO, OW!
OH!>>KYLE, KYLE.
DON’T PULL ON THE NICE MAN’S BEARD! I’M SURE IT’S GLUED ON VERY TIGHTLY!
>>NO, IT’S REAL!>>OH THIS IS A CLASSY MALL.
>>IS THIS YOUR THRONE? CAN I CLIMB IT?
YOU WANT TO SEE ME DO A BACK FLIP?>>KYLE, I’M SURE HE’S SEEN YOU DO A FLIP
BEFORE. REMEMBER HE’S SANTA.
HE SEES EVERYTHING.>>THAT’S RIGHT.
>>SO YOU SAW ME WIPE A BOOGEY ON YOUR BOOT?>>WHAT THE WHAT?
>>OH NEATO!>>NO, OKAY.
KYLE, DON’T LICK THAT! YOU DON’T KNOW HOW MANY MALL SANTAS HAVE
TOUCHED THAT. KYLE, KYLE!
KYLE, DON’T MAKE MOMMY GET THE SPRAY BOTTLE.>>NOT THE SPRAY BOTTLE.
>>NOW KYLE, WHY DON’T YOU TELL SANTA WHAT YOU WANT FOR CHRISTMAS?
>>PROBABLY AN XBOX RIGHT?>>NO, I ALREADY HAVE TWO.
HEY, HOW DO YOU GET AROUND TO EVERY HOUSE IN
THE WORLD IN ONE NIGHT?>>KYLE–>>IF I WANTED COAL
FOR CHRISTMAS WOULD I HAVE TO BE BAD? IF I WERE BAD AND I STILL WANTED COAL WOULD
YOU GIVE IT TO ME? BECAUSE THEN YOU’D BE REWARDING ME FOR BAD
BEHAVIOR AND THAT WOULD THROW OFF THE WHOLE NAUGHTY AND NICE
LIST THING.>>IT’S TRUE.
>>KYLE, HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU NOT TO ASK
PARADOXICAL QUESTIONS?>>I ASK PARADOXICAL QUESTIONS.
>>YES YOU DO.>>OKAY, NO KYLE!
KYLE! STOP PULLING ON HIS BEARD!
KYLE, LOOK OVER HERE! LOOK AT MOMMY.
COME ON. COME ON.
FOCUS. FOCUS.
CONCENTRATE.>>OW!
NO MORE!>>OKAY, KYLE.
COME ON. WHY DON’T WE GO HOME AND YOU CAN RUN ON
YOUR TREADMILL?>>NO, BUT I STILL HAVEN’T TOLD SANTA WHAT
I WANTED.>>WELL TELL HIM QUICKLY RIGHT NOW.
>>I WANT SOME DRY SHORTS. BYE SANTA!
LOOK WHAT I FOUND MOM!>>HEY THAT’S MINE!
>>THAT’S NICE.>>YOU CAN KEEP THAT.
MERRY CHRISTMAS.>>COOL.
NOW I HAVE TWO IPHONES.

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