Steampunk Holiday


‘Twas the end of the year, and all through the land, The steampunks had fêtes and soirées all planned. Whether top-hat and tails, or grease-stained coverall, They put on their finest to meet at the ball. Their hats were all covered with goggles and gears, And high-octane beverages filled bandoliers. Then, boarding dirigible, hansom and sub, They all made their way to the Lovelace Club. Shovel more coal into the boilers! Set the airship for the North Pole! As we float through the sky, Keep a watchful eye For reindeer out the porthole! Strap your goggles on against the blizzard; Hang a wreath on each hatchway! As we all sail up, Raise the wassail cup To the steampunk holiday! And when they’d arrived, and the seats were arranged, Their cards, and handshakes, and gifts were exchanged. Mechanical marvels, and boxes of tea, Fob watches, and pickle jars filled with debris. A vintage edition, a clockwork coal scuttle, And clothing in styles from risqué to subtle. The children got toys; the adults did too (Though many of the latter were from ‘Doctor Who’). Shovel more coal into the boilers! Set the airship for the North Pole! As we float through the sky, Keep a watchful eye For reindeer out the porthole! Strap your goggles on against the blizzard; Hang a wreath on each hatchway! As we all sail up, Raise the wassail cup To the steampunk holiday! Those revelers possessing a musical bent Serenaded all the others who were at the event. Then, braving the cold winter snow, slush and sleet, They sang jolly carols from street to street. And here is to Babbage’s Difference Engine, Which all do agree is a splendid invention! Then after a brief fusillade of snowballs, They made their retreat to the warmth of the hall. Shovel more coal into the boilers! Set the airship for the North Pole! As we float through the sky, Keep a watchful eye For reindeer out the porthole! Strap your goggles on against the blizzard; Hang a wreath on each hatchway! As we all sail up, Raise the wassail cup To the steampunk holiday! The cooks had prepared a marvellous feast, With all of the trimmings (and of course, a roast beast). But if ‘caput apri de fero’ would not do, They’d also cooked up vegetarian stew. And when they’d all dined, everybody agreed: ‘Twas a wonderful holiday party indeed. Then, ere they departed, before they’d all gone, They vowed to reconvene at the very next con. Shovel more coal into the boilers! Set the airship for the North Pole! As we float through the sky, Keep a watchful eye For reindeer out the porthole! Strap your goggles on against the blizzard; Hang a wreath on each hatchway! As we all sail up, Raise the wassail cup To the steampunk holiday! As we all sail up, Raise the wassail cup To the steampunk holiday!

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