Weekend Update: Amazon Opens New York Headquarters – SNL February 26, 2020 Tags:Actor, beautiful boy, Colin Jost, Comedy, Despicable Me, Donald Rumsfeld, episode 6, funny, Hilarious, late night, laugh, live, michael che, michael scott, music, musician, NBC, new york, politics, prison reform, robert mueller, russia investigation, s44, s44e6, saturday night live, season44, Sketch, snl, snl 44, snl host, snl season 44, steve carell, The Office, trump, vice, voter recounts, weekend update, welcome to marwen Related Posts EXAMS vs NORMAL Days – Kids Routine | #Fun #Roleplay #Bloopers #MyMissAnand Military Wife Receives a Post-Massage Dream Vacation Surprise Cuban Vacation – SNL About The Author Felton Ryan 100 Comments James Volk You stupid assholes its not gonna create that many new jobs, N people are pissed cause Amazon, a TRILLION dollar company is getting a MASSIVE tax break, and its going to spread gentrification November 19, 2018 Reply nightlights Pokémon go to the polls lol November 19, 2018 Reply Novaximus What does it even mean to have an Amazon HQ around? Big deal. It's just a big building where a few thousand snobby college grads can get hired to play around on some computers. Good for them. November 19, 2018 Reply claire_bc Re the joke on housing prices in NYC — those in the Arlington area aren't cheap by any means. Coming from a person near the area. November 19, 2018 Reply Organic frugal Gardening I think they’re whining over the ridiculous tax giveaway to the richest person in the world November 19, 2018 Reply Theo B Nothing but #truth at 1:14 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 November 19, 2018 Reply ResortDog BUT the IRSes computers did all overheat, all 15,000 of them during the Tea party scandal Investigation. November 19, 2018 Reply ResortDog OVER 50% of online business is thru Amazon, How are you stopping that monopoly wiping out competitors selling at a loss? November 19, 2018 Reply Al gee Who wants Amazon. Just like who wants the Olympics. November 19, 2018 Reply Maremons "Pokemon Go to the polls" was the keystone "I'm disconnected from your generation" moment of the campaign lol November 19, 2018 Reply Abby Broadbent I actually liked "Pokemon go to the polls" because she was trying to relate to millennials also I'm a sucker for a good pun November 19, 2018 Reply vonsuthoff Awww… Screw it! Let's run Hillary again… and elect her this time, just to show how much we can't stand Trump!!! Who's with me?! November 19, 2018 Reply joshua mullaney "oh lord, how much they sell us for ?" November 19, 2018 Reply Kristina Lopez Those jobs didn't go to New Yorkers though….do your research, SNL writers…-_- November 19, 2018 Reply Tomadu 'won the lottery'… it's gonna cost NYC billions. NY essentially subsidized to get effed. November 19, 2018 Reply Regan Parenton Honestly why the fuck is the Samsung J7 eclipse budget model smartphone I'm using currently to watch this probably faster than the machines used to determine an elected official in the highest GDP country in the world? I legit hate this country. November 19, 2018 Reply MrJab4309 We in North Carolina we're thrilled to hear about Amazon. Real estate values have already blown up like crazy in the last 20 years making it hard enough to get a home here as it is, and leaving most of us in the urban areas with no other choice but to throw money down the drain to rent overpriced, pathetic apartments. November 19, 2018 Reply Kelly Stout That is in fact when she lost the election. November 19, 2018 Reply antonio volpe the irs server is overheating – hallelujah November 19, 2018 Reply antonio volpe the average LIC resident annual income is $150,000 ??? the american dream November 19, 2018 Reply Serquss Jeff Bezos intends to rule all of America and the World. That's why he's building his 'headquarters' in NYC and DC. Duh! November 19, 2018 Reply Fred Flinstone This is not funny at all. November 19, 2018 Reply KingCeasar666 Not shocked about prison reform. Corporate Republican party just tagged a weak leg in the corporate Democratic party. Don't you comedians remember who started for prophet prisons? The jokes these days seem like blind sheep laughing at the obvious missing the unobvious they defend. The jokes on you is in the corporate Democratic tumor that's damn near inoperable at this point. November 19, 2018 Reply Jermaine Coleman Amazon is bringing 25000 people with jobs to these locations not providing 25000 new jobs November 19, 2018 Reply Dawoi15 Colin Jost is the son of a doctor and engineer, went to a private school on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, went to Harvard, was hired at SNL immediately after graduating and has never had another adult job November 19, 2018 Reply Philip Brister If only Weekend could have made hilarious Clinton jokes during the election…wait…never mind…she lost with every aspect of the media in her pocket. November 19, 2018 Reply Alena Ivanov Here, I wrote what I wish they had said. Amazon has just announced it's opening new headquarters in Arlington, Virginia and Queens, NYC, after corporate oligarch Jeff "Luthor" Bezos accidentally left the two cities in his cart. Suprisingly entitled citizens of New York are are befuddingly unexcited at the prospect of toiling in a factory funded entirely by their own taxes for the benefit of one Jeff "I hoard more money than the entire GDP of the Ukraine" Bezos. Like what are you plebians complaining about anyway? There were plenty of hard working American citizens in the places Amazon didn't set up where people don't care about funding public infrastructure because they all have four wheel drive tractorz they built themselves to get to their comparably shitty jobs where they probably shuck corn with their own teeth and then go home and shoot heroin into their eyeballs till they die slowly I don't really know I've never been out of New York City except to go to Europe because I'm Colin Jost and not at risk of ever being a goddamn Amazon employee ever in my life anyway unless this shitty ad I'm doing and calling comedy counts. Anyway please just shut your whiny mouths and bow down to Jeff "fall down and slowly bleed your bloods for me until you die you [email protected]#$ing peasant" Bezos. He is the big daddy and deserves all of our lovez. Respec respec real time. November 19, 2018 Reply Mike Honcho SNL is just the humor division of the MSM, every joke they write has to be approved by their corporate overlords. November 19, 2018 Reply Mark Amendola isnt the lefts whole thing equality and diversity? How is it okay to have an all gay government? oh, i know, because the left is retarded, nvm November 19, 2018 Reply rolf stamenov FUCK SNL STAY ON THE PLANTATION JACKASS November 19, 2018 Reply Raph Reyes NYC "won" the lottery!?! Wow they dropped the ball with this one smh November 19, 2018 Reply babybree175 Because no current athletes would show up, cause they are all blacks! Lol he slays November 19, 2018 Reply meredyth with a y "Welp, back to the mines" Too real, Colin. November 19, 2018 Reply Troll Hidden Cave fuck you god daMN GLOBALIST IF TRUMP CURED CANCER YOU PUNK ASS BITCHES WOULD STILL HATE FUCK YOU ALL November 19, 2018 Reply Diamond Master The pikachu joke was funny November 19, 2018 Reply Gregg Minkoff Almost funny. November 19, 2018 Reply Mariah Paredes Honestly super disappointed in the Amazon remarks, pretty weak and misleading November 19, 2018 Reply Alyssa J “Pokémon go to the polls” 😂😂😂😂 November 19, 2018 Reply James "Its so easy to pay taxes" … huh? … and The IRS doesn't count your taxes, you declare and submit your own numbers. November 19, 2018 Reply hobbicles28 Ah. Youtube kommentarseksjon.Det sjelden unnlater å bringe latter.Den gode tingen, selv om videoen er tull, kan kommentarseksjonen hjelpe deg med å smile.Takk til de som deltar i kommentarseksjonen.Pseudo anonymitet kan skape en slik hilarity. November 19, 2018 Reply Death Drive Cancel that dumb show already November 19, 2018 Reply Laura Kane Almost slightly funny until that jacka$$ Mike Che had to tell his typical RACIST jokes, being the RACIST PIG that he is. November 19, 2018 Reply cabellero1120 These dudes never fail to make me laugh! November 19, 2018 Reply OTR Y’all bitching about Amazon but we all know you use it, so stfu. November 19, 2018 Reply JoeJames215 Amazon causes rent to increase in queens, and snl makes joke about how it’s okay? They act like they’re left leaning but they’re really not at all. November 19, 2018 Reply Jack Dawson The IRS is hardly the standard for a comparison in modernization. It's actually still using the same system from the 60s and has been criticized often to be updated. November 20, 2018 Reply VR CELL They agreed on the prison reform right before Trump goes and take full advantage of it… hint… November 20, 2018 Reply Steven Avery 2:35 SNL racism November 20, 2018 Reply Ronnie Mathews Those headquarters should be in Camden, NJ and Flint, MI. Not the most prosperous city in america. November 20, 2018 Reply Robert Menegazzi Just an FYI in Seattle alone housing costs have exponentially increased with Amazon's presence – over 6 years a $200,000 home then now sells at 1.5 million with a median price of 750,000 for home-loans, even in the sketchiest part of Seattle homes sells for half-a-mill. From what I know about NY, housing is pretty shit already but get ready – it'll get even fucking worse for you. Not to mention traffic in NY already makes the city unlivable. I don't know what's worse than unlivable. but you'll soon find that out . Also Amazon WILL interfere with local government. In Seattle we had this thing called the Head Tax that was originally passed by the city council and the mayor but the moment Jeff stepped in suddenly assholes were setting kiosks outside of grocery stores straight up lying to the elderly to collect signature to pass a proposal to kill the Head Tax – it wasn't the best piece of legislation, but it would've helped more than 12,000 homeless people who've begun building tent cities in the city – anyway, Amazon (or I should say: Jeff) stuck his head in where it didn't belong – Mayor kills the Head Tax next round. Best of luck. You are definitely gonna need it. November 20, 2018 Reply Kayla g Better get my packages faster now November 20, 2018 Reply Blessedone333AZ Black RACIST on SNL… AGAIN November 20, 2018 Reply DEADPOOL I'm team Bezos all day November 20, 2018 Reply Mathin3D Queens rules! November 20, 2018 Reply Duane Richards II For Motivation November 20, 2018 Reply ZapDash Left both in the cart. So true. I've personally made mistakes in orders and seen features added to prevent my exact mistakes. Lol. November 20, 2018 Reply Cayden Fiala "We didn't count your taxes this year because our abacus is busted again" lmfao November 21, 2018 Reply Hmain Seyah As an Astoria, Queens resident this is a nightmare. The subway is a mess with delays almost everyday. The cost of living is barely affordable as it is. I can only imagine that the rent will soar to match Manhattan prices because I don’t believe amazon is going to hire only New Yorkers. Disgraceful segment to ignore a very real problem for so many of us who are struggling as it is. I’m sure that studio room is comfortable as you bask in smug arrogance. November 21, 2018 Reply Mike Thomas Yo #SNL can you please post the whole #Weekendupdate, and not these wack ass 3 minute videos…the whole segment would be better…please!!! November 21, 2018 Reply Quintin Garvin If i was her i would run again i would make running again my platform like "i never quit and you shouldnt either" i mean in 2020 she would be the underdog in this fight for sure but America has this thing that we dont trust her for some reason i wonder why a lot but man she had 30 years to prepare and she shit the bed my excuse would be i wasnt ready in 2016 but im will to die to have this oppurntunity. Lol im not even a Hilary supporter or trump im just lookin at a way to win. November 21, 2018 Reply beach side I like how Trump is trying to take credit for what we voted for in FL regarding felons having the right to vote after they do their time. Do you think he would come up with this on his own? He was cringing when he was telling the details.He has no prob taking tax money from people after being released but doesnt like the other part where they are still citizens allowed to vote. Taxation without representation much? November 21, 2018 Reply blackearl7891 Yay, higher rent to satisfy our corporate overlords. Hey snl, amazon splooge is on your mouth try wiping before trying to make comedy. November 21, 2018 Reply Andi7 Amo so cringey….not funny. November 21, 2018 Reply Chris Wright Variety Show An all LGBTQAAIP2+ local government in Florida? Doesn’t sound very diverse to me November 21, 2018 Reply damien neimad They didn't win a lottery…they paid a lottery. November 22, 2018 Reply Anh Kim H. How much did SNL sell us for? I moved from Bay Area to DC to escape the crazy property prices…and now it's happening again here. The real story is how Amazon gamed the system. They knew it was going to be DC and NYC this whole time. November 22, 2018 Reply A T Like if SNL reply Trever Noah November 22, 2018 Reply Franklin MacGillacuddy SNL always goes through ups and downs, some sketches are bad and most are great but Weekend Update has been consistently hilarious for years. Michael and Colin are just killin it up there. November 23, 2018 Reply Aisley Wallace "Cuz they're all black"- I love you 😂😂😂 November 23, 2018 Reply Nick Howard city that lost out here, thank fucking god. fuck amazon November 24, 2018 Reply MephyBooks colin jost retire bitch November 24, 2018 Reply 43dfranks Theyre complaining about amzon jobs because amazon jobs are shitty as fuck and the wage is even worse November 24, 2018 Reply Terri Forde Gentrifiers calling us whiny for not wanting more fucking gentrification wow November 24, 2018 Reply Kylie Tuttle I'm from West Virginia and actually studied our states economics, we could have actually used that. We are the only state that is 'failing' in population. meaning that we are the only state thats popultion is decreasing.don't hate on them for telling the truth November 25, 2018 Reply Dean Walker Finger pointing shows. Maher n company. We’re better than this. November 25, 2018 Reply Masked_RedSquid 2:56 – 3:20 November 25, 2018 Reply Andrew Frank I am using Amazon to post this comment. November 26, 2018 Reply J m "Yeah I know its gonna raise housing prices". Jfc the fucking ignorance. Didnt expect anything from these bootlickers November 27, 2018 Reply bomaite1 Roger Stone is really Bert from Sesame Street, but with white hair. November 28, 2018 Reply Lego007guy M Also West Virginia: at least we'll always have our mining jobs.Fallout 76:don't count on it November 29, 2018 Reply OPEC no Amazon doesn't pay their workers a decent wage considering they're one of the richest companies that has ever existed. As a native West Virginian, the coal mines are union, and pay a LOT more than $15 an hour lol. Most mines that are still around start at $20 and go to $30 an hour top out. So yea, fuck Amazon December 1, 2018 Reply MICHGO1 WON THE LOTTERY? DEPENDS ON WEATHER OR NOT AMAZON SCREWS OVER NYC LIKE TRUMP DID IN THE '80'S WHEN THE CITY GAVE HIM TAX CUTS. OVER-SPECULATED AND BUILT LUXURY APTS EVERY WHERE AND PUSHED THE MIDDLE CLASS OUT OF MANHATTAN. December 2, 2018 Reply Keaton Safar Normally love SNL but this sketch was pathetic December 7, 2018 Reply Ivy Jacobs Amazon ruined Seattle. December 11, 2018 Reply Arc GX 3:17 well that was onixpected. And Absolutely Gastly December 13, 2018 Reply Rylee Mullen yay one more vid of you browsing the internet ! awesome ! December 19, 2018 Reply LG1031 New York basically won the lottery…except they had to pay 3 billion dollars for the ticket, to fund the headquarters of a private business with no legal guarantees when it comes to job numbers or wages. Good job guys. December 20, 2018 Reply Mitch K Wanna hear how well Florida's doing? Some school districts are paying fines for having too many students per class, instead of buying better ballot counters. Proof that Florida's government cares about students can be seen in the 3% growth on the 8th grade Physical Science exam, from 37 to 40 percent as an average. December 31, 2018 Reply Umaxen 00 I laugh at Whole Foods when they ask me if I am an "Amazon Prime Member". I simply tell them I'll never be a part of their scheme club. Want NOTHING to do with "amazon". February 18, 2019 Reply brad fenderz Do Saturday night live throwbacks ..they were much funnier? February 20, 2019 Reply Captaincool Name For “motivation” April 13, 2019 Reply Emma Eisenberg 0:59 You cannot say that and not go into, "How do you document real life when real life's getting more like fiction each day?" That is an outrage. April 23, 2019 Reply TheDerpyDog 0:59 if you listen closely you can hear the cameraman laughing May 7, 2019 Reply TheSardonicMan for motivation May 10, 2019 Reply Andrew Gillreath-Brown New York complaining about Amazon reminds me of Friends, when Chandler says "Oh, no! Two women love me. They're both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet's too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight!". June 7, 2019 Reply 215mookies Pokemon go to the polls June 12, 2019 Reply Pahan Ruwanpathirana Michael Che is complete daddy material July 6, 2019 Reply Dr Gonzo Colin Jost is a filthy bootlicker. December 8, 2019 Reply Private Ahh they funny December 29, 2019 Reply Tyler Newman Remember when Republicans could take a joke? Pepperidge Farm remembers. January 27, 2020 Reply Add a Comment Cancel reply Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *Comment Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.